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May 30, 2015

Writing Daily Love Emails As a Spiritual Practice

By M. Randy Lewis

I have been writing love notes to my spouse and daughter every day for over a year now. Since it is a proven fact that before either of them says, “Good morning” to the world, or “I love you,” or even do their morning must-dos, they would engage their smartphones, I figured that the best way for me to get their attention is to send them an email or a text message. So before I commit to my day’s duties and objectives of scanning the morning news or reading my own emails, I take the time to write them both love messages. It is a unique way of communicating; it allows for me to express myself and to write those things that are often difficult to say out loud. It has become a sort of spiritual exercise and personal discipline. Soon after I began my writing, however, I realized that the massages probably help me more than they encourage them. While I am affirming them, I am also affirming the belief in, and the promise to, myself, understanding that my written words will someday become my legacy.

I usually begin my post with a simple salutation, “Good morning, Love,” “Good morning, Sweetheart,” or “Hello Baby Love.” I then proceed to write about my hopes, dreams, and our relationship goals, or our commitments to each other. I remind each of them how truly wonderful and gifted they are. I share with my daughter the many possibilities that await her if she applies herself to study and hard work. I also never fail to affirm her and to state how beautiful she is and to encourage her to walk in confidence, while treating others with kindness and respect. I remind them both of the promise of my unconditional love and faithfulness.

“We are more open to discussing touchy subjects; we have become more expressive and affectionate; and we have less conflict and fewer disagreements.”

I have to admit that not all of my morning posts start as love notes. Sometimes I am upset about something one of them has said or done. While I do try to get my point across, as lovingly as possible, I am tempted to fuss and complain. But then, I am soon reminded of the true purpose of my morning messages, which is to touch, to move, and to inspire. All of my messages have the positive intention to be within these guidelines as to whether my words are able to touch the hearts of my loved ones, whether my words move them to take steps toward their highest dreams and goals, and whether my words inspire them to strive to be the best individuals that they can be.

So, I usually finish on a high note with some quote, wisdom nugget, or a scripture. At times, I will even ask for their input and thoughts. I must admit, I do not always get a response to the questions I pose. But I do get the occasional “Thank you. I have read your message.” There have been a few times that I have written a message and, for whatever reason, the message would fail to send. In those rare cases, I am quickly reminded, and with great angst, “Where is my morning message?” I smile and assure them that I did not forget; then I quickly resend.

What has been amazing is the noticeable changes in attitude and behavior and how better we all relate. We are more open to discussing touchy subjects; we have become more expressive and affectionate; and we have less conflict and fewer disagreements. While I cannot say for certain that any positive changes in our family dynamics are a direct result of my morning emails, I truly think they are effective. But what I can definitively say is that I have been changed for the better. And for this, I am truly grateful!

Writing love emails will take a commitment, but it is a great modern way to enhance communication, to inspire, and, hopefully, to leave a lasting, albeit electronic, legacy for your tech-savvy loved ones to cherish for years to come.

I am a proud, passionate liberal thinker, social-justice advocate, entrepreneur, creative thinker, and songwriter whose mission in life is to try be the change that I hope someday would be in the world. I am also a husband, father, and community minister. I hold an undergraduate degree in Organizational Leadership, a Master of Business Administration (MBA) and a Master of Divinity degrees. Currently, I am serving as Managing Director of Clergy 211, an organization of inclusive and progressive clergy that provide non-judgmental rite-of-passage ceremonies for all people.

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